His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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