So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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