HIV tests are more positive than that guy
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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