Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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