I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
