I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
