the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
