North Korea, Best Korea!
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
