Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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