Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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