what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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