Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
