As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
