I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
its liver damage thursday
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
