need another drink. this is the easiest way
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I came so hard my ears popped.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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