Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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