I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
