Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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