question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
