Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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