im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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