we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
