So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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