Non-Jews are for practice
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
