Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
