R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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