You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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