she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
