Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Randomize
