so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
