He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
