Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I feel like abortions should bother me more
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
