i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You're a waste of cheezeits
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
