gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
