Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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