even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
