Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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