So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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