he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
