nutella sex= disaster
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize