did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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