i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
