Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Randomize
