Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
