i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
