I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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