I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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