rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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