I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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