you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Still dying that you shit outside
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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